Story 14: Why Do We Get Angry?

 Story 14: Why Do We Get Angry?

It is evening. Rahul is walking around his room angrily, talking to himself.

Rahul (frustrated): I’ve told Papa so many times to take me to the mall! But every time he gives an excuse! All my friends have gone, and I’m the only one who hasn’t!

(Just then, Dadaji’s voice is heard.)

Dadaji: Rahul, where are you, son? You haven’t come yet? I’ve been waiting for you.

Rahul (loudly): Coming, Dadaji! I’m just packing my bag… two minutes!

(Rahul quickly packs his bag and goes to Dadaji’s room.)

Dadaji (smiling): So, Rahul, are you trying to become calm and steady, Sthitha prajna?

Rahul (frowning): Not at all, Dadaji! I’m actually feeling angry with Papa. I’ve been asking him for three days to take me to the mall, and every time he says, “Office work!” or some other work. He just never has time for the mall. All my friends have already been there. I’m the only one left!

Dadaji: Rahul, Papa must have some important work. The mall isn’t going anywhere. You can go in a couple of days, when Papa gets time.

Rahul (annoyed): Yeah, yeah. Of course, you’ll take your son’s side! Anyway, Dadaji, let’s start your Gita lesson…

Dadaji (laughing): Today, Lord Krishna is explaining to Arjuna why we feel angry and what happens when we do.

Rahul (curious, sits down quickly): Really, Dadaji? Anger? That’s just what I’m feeling right now, Dadaji!

Dadaji: Looks like God already knew that Rahul’s mood wasn’t so good today!

Rahul (laughing): But Dadaji, Krishna is talking to Arjuna... was Arjuna also angry?

Dadaji: Not really, but yesterday, Krishna taught Arjuna how to stay calm and steady. Today, He is explaining what happens when we don’t stay calm.

Rahul: What happens, Dadaji?

Dadaji: Krishna says, when our mind is not steady, our senses — like our eyes, ears, etc. — wander here and there. They distract our minds.

For example: your ears heard your friends talk about the mall, your eyes imagined going there, and your mind said — “I want to go to the mall!”

Rahul (laughing): And then my mind told my brain — “I have to go now! I can’t wait!”

Dadaji (smiling): Exactly! But if the brain is steady, it will think — “Can we go today or not? Is there anything more important to do? Is this the right time?” And only then it will decide — “Okay, let’s go.”

Rahul: So, Dadaji, did Papa make his decision with a steady mind?

Dadaji: Yes, son. Otherwise, he would have taken you already. Have some patience. I’m sure he’ll take you in a day or two.

Rahul (quietly): So Dadaji, I was just listening to my mind.

Dadaji (with love): Yes, son. Since the day you heard about the mall, your mind kept repeating — “I want to go to the mall, I want to go to the mall.” You weren’t thinking about anything else. Your brain is influenced by your mind and senses. And when your brain couldn’t get what it wanted, it got angry.

Dadaji: That’s why Lord Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2, Verse 62:

dhyāyato viṣayān puṁsaḥ
saṅgas teṣūpajāyate
saṅgāt sañjāyate kāmaḥ
kāmāt krodho ’bhijāyate 2.62

“While thinking about sense objects, a person develops attachment to them. From attachment comes desire, and from desire arises anger.”

Dadaji: Krishna tells Arjuna —
When a person keeps thinking about things they see, hear, touch, or imagine, they start getting attached to those things.
Then comes desire — the strong wish to have them.
And when the wish doesn’t get fulfilled, anger appears.

Rahul (curious): Dadaji, what does attachment mean?

Dadaji: Let’s understand it step by step, Rahul.

When we really like something, and we keep thinking about it again and again, that is called attachment. You can call it "Like."

Then, when we really, really want to get it, that is called desire. You can call it "Want."

And when we don’t get what we want, then comes Anger.

Rahul (excitedly): Oh! So first comes Like, then Want, and if we don’t Get it, then comes Anger!

So Dadaji, I’ve made a formula:
Like + Want = If Not Get → Then Anger!

Isn’t that right, Dadaji?

Dadaji (laughing): Bravo! You’ve made the perfect formula, my son!
You’re becoming very wise, Rahul. This formula is exactly the simple meaning of that Gita verse.

Rahul: It’s all because of you, Dadaji!
But Dadaji, if Like + Want = Get, I mean if we get what we want, then there should be no anger, right?

Dadaji: That’s a smart thought, Rahul. But listen — when one wish is fulfilled, the mind starts liking a new thing again.
The senses don’t stop. As more and more desires get fulfilled, it becomes a habit.
And the longer this Like + Want = Get cycle goes on, the harder it becomes to stop.
And when it does stop — when the wish doesn’t get fulfilled — the anger becomes really big!
Because by then, the mind doesn’t know how to handle “Not Getting” what it wants.

Rahul (thinking deeply): So Dadaji, sometimes we should go through “Not Get” moments, so the anger stays small and doesn’t grow too big?

Dadaji: Yes, son! If we don’t get everything we want, the mind learns that not all desires will be fulfilled.
And small angers are easier to control.
We also start thinking: “Maybe I will get it, maybe I won’t — and I’ll be okay either way.”

Rahul: So we should keep practicing to control our attachments?

Dadaji: Exactly! That’s how we keep our minds and intelligence steady.

Rahul: Dadaji, what happens if we still get angry?

Dadaji: Good question. In the next verse (2.63), Lord Krishna says:

From anger comes confusion,
From confusion comes loss of memory,
From loss of memory, intelligence is destroyed,
And when intelligence is gone, the person is ruined.

Rahul (surprised): Dadaji, what does loss of memory mean here?

Dadaji: Krishna means that when we get angry, the desire becomes so strong that the mind just keeps thinking about it all the time — morning, noon, and night.
We forget everything else — even what’s right or wrong. That’s called loss of memory — or loss of good sense.

Rahul: And what is intelligence being destroyed, Dadaji?

Dadaji: It means we lose the ability to judge what is right and what is wrong.
We stop seeing reality clearly.
We forget whether we can even get that thing or not, whether we should get it or not.
And then, in anger, we might try to get it the wrong way.
We say bad things, fight, and stop listening to others…
And finally, when our wisdom is gone, we fall. We hurt ourselves and regret it later.

Rahul (seriously): Dadaji, this anger is really dangerous! I get angry over small things very easily.

Dadaji: Yes, my dear. When we keep getting angry over little things, it becomes a habit.
We say bad words, fight, and even hurt others.
Anger is truly dangerous. It makes us do things we later feel very sorry about.

Rahul: So, Dadaji, we should try to become steady-minded people?

Dadaji: Yes, son! Only by thinking carefully and controlling our little wants can we keep our minds steady.

Rahul: So, if we learn to control our likes and wants, then anger won’t come?

Dadaji: Exactly! Now you’re speaking like a wise person, and I’m proud of you, my wise little one. Good night!

Rahul: Good night, Dadaji!